


Chasing Lilies

by ali2cann



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming of Age, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, James tries to grow up, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild sexual contact, as canon as possible, warning: mild nonconsenual themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:54:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29532288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ali2cann/pseuds/ali2cann
Summary: James Potter; athlete, goofball, prankster and... bully?  James has never viewed himself that way, but when the girl of his dreams calls him a bully it sets him on a new course.  James Potter will do anything to earn the love of Lily Evans... even just be her friend.
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Kudos: 6





	1. Arrogant Toe Rag

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - These are all JK Rowling's characters and world. I'm just playing in it.
> 
> In this first chapter, I've quoted directly from The Order of The Phoenix. We're all fans here, it's obvious.

_ “You’re just as bad as he is!” _

_ “Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can” _

_ “I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it.” _

_ “You make me SICK.” _

James Potter couldn’t get the redhead’s words out of his head. Did she really think he was as bad as Snape? Snape was practically a death eater in training! And besides, other girls found those traits charming, didn’t they? 

Walking out of his last OWL exam, James spotted the redhead in question walking down the corridor a few people ahead of him. Without waiting for Sirius, James darted through the crowd, parting them like the red sea, and ran to catch up with her.

“Evans!” he called. She kept walking.

“Evans!” he tried again, closer now.

“Lily,” he said, reaching out and tapping her on the shoulder. She turned around icily. Apparently, she’d heard him calling her and had been ignoring him.

“What?” she spat. 

“I-I just wanted-” he began lamely, but she cut him off.

“Well? I don’t have all day? Spit it out Potter!” Her eyes flashed and the contempt with which she said his name disarmed him. The apology died in his throat.

“Do you really think I’m as bad as Snape?” he asked quietly, not meeting her eye. The rush of students leaving the Transfiguration exam had died out and they were alone in the corridor.

Lily scrutinized him for a moment. Really looked at him, and when he chanced a glance at her face, he didn’t see any hate in her eyes. He watched her deflate in front of him.

“No,” she said, “Or at least, not in the same way.” 

“What does that mean?” asked James, running his hand through his hair before he could stop it.

“I mean what I said at the lake. You’re a pompous ass James.” She stopped and looked at him searchingly again. “You know what,” she continued, “so is Severus. He just expresses it differently.”

“I am not!” James started hotly.

“You are!” Lily said, her voice rising. “You think you’re better than him because you’re not going to become a death eater but what good is that if you still go around bullying everyone you don’t like?” 

“I don’t bully you.” James ventured.

“Oh don’t you?” Lily laughed scornfully. “What do you call that Valentine’s Day debacle? Or demanding that I date you in exchange for leaving Snape alone?”

“That’s not - that’s not bullying!” cried James. “I’m not bullying you! I-I like you” he finished lamely. 

“HA!” Lily laughed, “yeah, right.” 

“I do” he said quietly.

“Leave me alone, Potter.” said Lily coldly before storming off in the direction she’d come from. 

James slumped. This was not at all how he’d imagined their conversation going. With a sickly feeling in his stomach, he realized that he’d never gotten around to apologizing at all.

Deflated, James headed back to the common room. He found the rest of the Marauders sitting on the bench by the window. Sirius was chatting with a few fourth year girls who all smiled warmly at James as he approached. That made him feel a little better. James ruffled his hair and pulled the snitch back out of his pocket, adopting an air of casualness, as if he weren’t impressed by the girls.

“James!” said Sirius warmly, “where’ve you been mate? Got lost on your way back from Transfiguration?”

“Just seeing a man about a dog, mate” James replied happily. It was a muggle expression he’d heard Lily say to a friend once and had no idea what it actually meant. Remus laughed and shook his head. Sirius gave him a questioning look. He must’ve noticed the smile didn’t meet James’ eye, but James shook his head. Remus noticed too and beckoned James to the bench next to him.

James sat down and must’ve had trouble hiding his feelings because Sirius stood up abruptly and addressed the girls.

“Ladies, it’s been lovely. But I’m afraid I must bid you adieu.” and with a slight shooing motion, waved the girls away before turning to James, looking concerned.

“Did you talk with Lily?” asked Remus. James’s hand went straight to his hair. Sirius laughed.

“Who else could leave him looking like a kicked puppy?” he asked.

“Did you apologize?” asked Remus. James looked at him for a long minute before he sunk his head into his hands.

“I tried!” he said defensively and told them about the conversation.

“She called me a pompous ass and said that I’m wrong to think I’m any better than Snape just because I’m not going to become a death eater.” said James, miserably.

“Well,” said Remus thoughtfully, “she has a point.”

James looked up at him with a wary eye.

“The world isn’t split into good people and death eaters,” said Remus sensibly. 

“But - she called me a bully!” said James hotly. Remus laughed.

“You are a bully. To Snape.”

“She said I bullied her.” said James quietly.

“You’ve got to admit,” said Remus tentatively, “it’s easy to see how your attention could feel like bullying, from Lily’s perspective.”


	2. Cokeworth, Summer

Lily hadn’t always had a strained relationship with her sister. Petunia had been her best friend before Lily’s magical abilities showed themselves. They were inseparable. But Petunia was scared of Lily’s magical abilities and then jealous when they gained Lily access to a secret world. But Lily had always loved Petunia and looked up to her. And she was determined to repair that relationship this summer, even if it meant exercising. 

Lily knew she wouldn’t be able to get Petunia interested in anything that Lily liked. There was just too much unknown between them at this point. Petunia was an outsider when it came to magic. But Lily could still understand the muggle world. So she asked Petunia what she was interested in. Running and swimming apparently. Really, Petunia was interested in the boys who hung out at the local pool and she ran each morning before she headed over there so that her muscles would look nice and tight in her swimsuit. 

So that’s what Lily did too. At first, Petunia wouldn’t speak to her, not that Lily could have kept up a conversation herself. She had no idea how out of shape she was until she learned that first morning that she couldn’t even run a mile without feeling like she was going to die. She followed Petunia to the pool and spent the day sleeping on a lounge chair, legs too stiff to move. 

After a week, Petunia took pity on her and showed her how to stretch before and after the run so her muscles wouldn’t hurt so bad later. And then, after a few weeks, Lily found that she had more energy after the runs than before and found that she wasn’t content to just lie there sunbathing with her sister all day so she started swimming laps in the pool before lunch. 

The sisters’ relationship progressed about as slowly as Lily’s muscle tone. Over the course of the summer Petunia went from resenting Lily’s presence, to tolerating her, to actually acting like she enjoyed their conversations. Lily was thrilled. She made sure to stay interested in whatever Petunia had to say and to carefully avoid anything about Hogwarts or magic. They did pretty well until just two weeks before it was time for Lily to go back to school.

One morning, on their run, Severus Snape jumped out from behind a bush and startled them both. 

“Lily” he said, “Can I have a word?”

Lily really didn’t want to talk to Severus, not after their last encounter by the lake. She had studiously ignored him the rest of term and hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him all summer. She was also acutely aware of her sister’s hatred for the greasy boy who’d first told Lily she was a witch. Why couldn’t he have accosted her alone?

“No.” said Lily, and she started running again, Petunia quickly outstripping her.

Severus started jogging along next to her. She sped up and so did he. 

“I’m sorry,” he panted. “I was angry. Embarrassed. Potter.” Severus was quickly winded, Lily noticed. She fought the urge to slow down for him but she was tired of always being the nice one, watching him get meaner and meaner while she was expected to simper over how badly he’d been treated. She knew he had it bad at home, and Potter was definitely a bully but she couldn’t deny that Severus had become the one to pick fights with Potter more often than not and seek out those weaker than him, just to feel powerful. But before that day on the lake, he’d never before turned against her. She’d had enough.

“Goodbye Severus,” she said and kicked it into a gear she didn’t know she had, rushing off to catch up with her sister. Severus had no chance to catch her. But she was afraid the encounter might have made her lose her sister. Petunia didn’t acknowledge her the rest of the run and refused to speak to her on the walk to the pool. 

It wasn’t until they were laying out after Lily’s swim that Petunia spoke.

“I’ve never understood how you could be friends with him.” she said. Lily thought she was just thinking back on the encounter this morning but when she looked up at her sister, Petunia gestured to the fence across the pool from them. Sure enough, there was Severus, waiting in his ratty old jacket, stringy hair hanging limply around his face, watching her. She sighed. 

He waved his hand at her when he saw her looking, beckoning her over.

“We’re not friends.” said Lily sadly, “not anymore.”

“Good,” said Petunia, “why don’t you go tell him to get lost then. I can’t relax with him staring over here like that.”

“Gladly,” said Lily. She got up and carefully wrapped her towel around her exposed body like a toga. She wasn’t particularly self conscious around the strangers but she didn’t want Severus to see her half naked. Even still, she saw his eyes hungrily roving over her body as she approached the fence.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed. His eyes widened.

“But that’s Potter’s voice,” he said, shocked. 

“What?” Lily asked, confused.

“That’s the voice you reserve for Potter.” said Severus, taking a step back. 

“Well, considering I feel just about the same way about the both of you right now, I suppose that makes sense.” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. Even now, he couldn’t keep his eyes on her face.

“Just about the same way,” he quoted, “as long as you like me just a teensy bit more than him, eh?” His lip curled up in a small smile. He was joking with her, like everything was normal.

“ _ He _ didn’t call me a mudblood, Severus.” she said.

What little color Severus had drained from his face. 

“I’m sorry.” he tried again.

“I don’t want to hear it.” said Lily, turning back towards the pool. She looked back at him over her shoulder. “Please go away, and stop staring at me like a hungry dog at a piece of meat.”

She didn’t give him a chance to respond. When she got back to the lounge chair with her sister she threw a quick glance back at the corner of the fence where he’d been and was pleased to see that he was gone.

“Took you long enough,” said Petunia. “People were starting to notice.”


	3. Godric's Hollow, Summer

James had, what turned out to be, an altogether enjoyable summer. He exchanged numerous letters with Remus discussing ways he could get Lily Evans to give him a chance at being his friend and one night, during a mid-summer storm, Sirius showed up on his porch soaking wet with all of his belongings tied to his broomstick. It wasn’t a surprise for Sirius to escape his parent’s house in London at some point and come stay with James, but this time Sirius said it was for good. He was never going back. James’ parents welcomed him immediately and assured him that he always had a home with them.

From then on, James and Sirius played quidditch every day, often with 7th year Frank Longbottom who lived nearby. James and Sirius played chaser opposite each other and Frank was the keeper against both of them. This was much better practice for James and Frank, who were chaser and Keeper for the Gryffindor team respectively, than Sirius who played beater but it was enjoyable all the same. At the end of July they got their Hogwarts letters and James was thrilled to find the quidditch captain’s badge in his. 

In August, he used his new authority to invite the remaining members of the Gryffindor team to stay for a week of hard core pre-season practice. 5th year Benji Fenwick, seeker and 6th year Mary MacDonald, chaser, were the last of the team remaining at Hogwarts. Sturgis Podmore and Bertha Jorkins had graduated at the end of last term and it would be James’ first job as captain to replace them. 

He drilled them hard all week. They woke up early and ran a mile down the hill into Godric’s Hollow and back before jumping onto their brooms to practice formations. In the afternoons they did muggle style workouts followed by practice games and come evening, for the first time in James or Sirius’ lives, they were all too tired to even think about getting into trouble. Remus and Peter planned to join the team in Diagon Alley at the end of the week to buy all their school supplies. James was pleased to hear from Mary that Lily Evans and Alice Fortescue were planning on a trip to Diagon Alley the very same day. 

The morning of the trip rolled around and James woke up in a cold sweat. He hadn’t seen Lily since his failed attempt at an apology and he had all this resolve to be different around her but he had no idea how he was going to put that into practice. She’d made it pretty clear she didn’t want anything to do with him. He fretted all morning and nothing Sirius did could calm his nerves. Finally, Sirius had enough.

“Mary!” he called out as the girl in question walked into the kitchen, wearing a plaid shift dress with knee socks, rather than her quidditch uniform for the first time all week. Mary came over, a look of concern on her face when she saw James’ bloodshot eyes and extra messed up hair.

“Tell this poor bloke that he doesn’t need to be afraid of Lily Evans.” said Sirius, clapping James on the shoulder.

“Oh,” said Mary, eyes widening, “I don’t know about that. She can be pretty scary sometimes.”

James looked up sharply. That was not at all what he needed to hear right now. When his eyes made contact with Mary’s she burst out laughing.

“Oh James,” she said, in her soft scottish accent, “Lily is a force to be reckoned with, that’s true, but you’ve nothing to worry about when it comes to her. Sweet as kittens she is.”

Lily was many things, most of which James rather liked, but ‘sweet as kittens’ was not quite the phrase he would have thought to use to describe her. Apparently Sirius was thinking along the same lines because he let out a bark of laughter.

“Sweet as kittens?” he asked, “You know we’re talking about Lily Evans, right?”

“Yes,” said Mary determinedly, “You lot just never get to see that side of her because you’re too busy pushing all her buttons all the time. If you’d actually take a moment to, oh I don’t know, talk to her, you’d see she’s the kindest person you could ever meet.”

Sirius scoffed, but James knew she was right. In fact, it was the glimpses he got of her extraordinary kindness that drew him to her so much in the first place. He’d never seen it directed at him, that was true, but the way she stood up for her friends, and comforted homesick first years showed a genuinely caring heart. And he knew that she’d worked out that Remus was a werewolf and embraced him just as fully as the marauders had.

“Now,” said Mary, after the rest of the team wandered into the kitchen one by one, “if you’re not too scared of the big bad Lily, I’d suggest we get going!”

Sirius grabbed the floo powder off the mantle and offered it to Mary.

“Ladies first,” he said, offering her a crooked smile. She couldn’t hide her blush as she spun away in the flames.

“Oi” said James, after she disappeared, “Not on my team you don’t! No fraternizing!”

Sirius grabbed a handful of floo powder with one hand and raised his other into a salute as he spun into the fire.

“Aye aye captain!”

Once the team got to Diagon Alley they all went off to do their own shopping with the plan to meet up at Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour in an hour. It was owned by Alice’s cousin and Mary assured James that Lily would be there when he got done with his shopping. All at once the nerves came back. He could hardly pay attention as Sirius dragged him off to the broom shop to show him the new Cleansweep 6 they’d just gotten in stock. 

An hour later, and loaded down with everything they’d need for the new school year including a refilled stock of pranking supplies, James and Sirius headed to Florean Fortescue’s where the team, as well as Remus, Peter, Alice, and Lily would be waiting for them. James wasn’t disappointed. 

“Remus!” he called, upon seeing his friend through the doorway “Remus, my good man!” 

The boys clasped hands and patted backs and generally made fools of themselves as Sirius picked up Peter and tried to put him onto James’ shoulders but James had grown so much over the summer that Sirius struggled to hold Peter high enough and when he finally shoved Peter up there with a grunt, Peter’s head clunked against the ceiling and Florean himself came thundering over from around the bar.

“Boys, Boys!” he said, “no roughhousing inside or no ice cream for any of you.”

Sirius immediately let go of Peter and both he and James fell to the floor. It was as James was disentangling himself from Peter that he saw Lily Evans for the first time, sitting at a table across the room from them with Mary and Alice. And what was that he saw on her face, could it be a smile as she watched him struggle? No sooner had they made eye contact then her smile dropped and she looked away.

James got up and made his way over towards Lily’s table, carefully greeting the rest of the team and trying to look casual. When he finally got there, he ran his hand through his hair and, while looking directly at Lily said, “Hey Mary, Alice - good summer?” 

Lily met his gaze and the ferocity of her emerald eyes both scared him and drew him in. Before the girls could answer him he addressed her.

“Good to see you Evans.” and turned on his heel and walked, as calmly as he could force himself back to the marauders who were at the bar tasting every flavour of ice cream available. Remus caught his eye when he approached.

“That was.. good.” he said.

“Yeah?” asked James, unsure. He’d felt like a fool.

‘Yes,” said Remus, then narrowed his eyes at James, “You didn’t ask her out, right?”

“No!” said James, shaking his head forcefully.

“Good.” said Remus and turned back to the ice cream selection. 

When James ventured a look back in Lily’s direction her seat was empty. His heart leaped into his chest as he quickly scanned the room and then settled as he found her standing at one of the other tables talking with Frank Longbottom. He couldn’t help but notice her shapely legs showing through her bell bottom jeans. His eyes were drawn to her small round butt, sticking out toward him as she leaned over, talking to Frank. The inch or so of bare skin just above her waistline made him realize just how dry his mouth had gotten. Had she always looked that good? What happened to the baby faced, Lily Evans in pigtails that had yelled at him by the lake just two months ago? Surely that Lily didn’t have such shapely legs under her school robes.

Frank gestured past Lily in James’ direction and she turned around and caught him staring. Her brow furrowed and James practically jumped out of his skin in an effort to look anywhere but at her. His eyes landed on Mary and Alice and he practically ran over there before Lily’s death glare risked melting his glasses.

“So,” he said upon sitting down in Lily’s vacated seat. “What’s Evans having such a lengthy conversation with Longbottom about?” he asked, trying to sound casual. His hand went through his hair again.

"Reconnaissance" said Mary, conspiratorially. When James looked confused, she went on, “just gauging his interest in sweet Alice here.”

James looked at Alice who was blushing fiercely. He cocked an eyebrow at her and she melted into her chair. James laughed.

‘You couldn’t do better than Longbottom.” he said, clapping her on the shoulder so hard she sunk noticeably farther into her chair and laughed as she swatted her hand away.

“Incoming” whispered Mary quietly and James looked around in time to see Lily walking back towards them. 

“Ladies,” he said, tipping an imaginary hat at them as he stood up and pulled the chair he’d been sitting in out as Lily approached, “Evans”. And with that, he herded up the other marauders and ushered them out of the shop.

“What’s that about now?” asked SIrius, pretending to fix his hair and brush his jacket off after being pushed and prodded by James.

“I think Evans has gotten enough of my charm for one day,” said James, with false arrogance. Remus smiled at him.


	4. 6th Year Begins

A week later they were all reunited once more on the Hogwarts Express. Smoke billowed and blew and obscured Lily's view as she approached the train but she could make out the unmistakable figure of James Potter, heaving a trunk through the train's doorway. Why he didn't shrink it in, she'd never know. She watched him come in and out of focus as the wind blew the steam this way and that. As much as she didn't like the prat, she couldn't deny that he'd filled out over the summer. Mary had told her about the grueling quidditch training and Lily had to admit that it had done the boy good in at least one way.

"Lily!" called a warm voice over her shoulders and she turned and saw Mary herself come into view, half dragging Marlene McKinnon with her.

"Hey Mary," Lily called back, "Erm, Marlene? You okay?"

"Yes" huffed Marlene, straightening her shirt after Mary finally dropped her grip on the fabric.

"You'll never guess what Marlene was just doing!" said Mary, excitedly, bouncing on her heels.

"Absolutely nothing." said Marlene, with a look of clearly feigned innocence.

Lily watched her two friends with a smile on her face. It was so good to be back. She almost didn't even care what Marlene had been up to.

"Flirting!" said Mary when it was clear that Lily wasn't going to guess.

"With who?" Lily asked, narrowing her eyes at Marlene. Marlene flirting in and of itself wasn't news so the subject of her flirting had to be scandalous. James Potter's face swam in front of Lily's eyes for a moment.

"Sirius Black" said Mary, not giving Marlene a chance to answer.

"Marlene!" said Lily sharply, "I thought we didn't do Marauders!"

"Gosh Lily," said Marlene with a smirk, "I don't DO every boy I flirt with! What kind of girl do you think I am?"

"You know what I meant!" said Lily but she didn't get a chance to elaborate because the marauder in question appeared out of the smoke and draped one arm around Marlene and the other around Lily.

"Ladies" he said (arrogantly Lily thought) "Miss me over the summer?"

"I spent a whole week with you" said Mary, with a smile. Since when did we smile at marauders, Lily found herself thinking. She grabbed Sirius's hand with two fingers as if it might infect her and carefully removed it from her shoulder.

Sirius took it in stride and pulled his want out of his pocket and, from 10 feet away shrunk the trunk that James was still fighting with. It dropped to the ground with a thud and James looked around wildly. Upon spotting SIrius with his wand raised he called out "Many thanks Mr Padfoot!"

Sirius tipped an imaginary hat in his direction, draped his arm around Lily's shoulder once more and began to steer the girls towards the train.

"Now, ladies" he said as he theatrically bowed and offered a hand to Marlene as she stepped up onto the train. "I do hope you'll join us for some light refreshments in compartment 10."

He was being so polite that Lily couldn't help but smile when he helped her onto the train. "Sorry, Black, I've got to head to the prefect's compartment."

Lily was one of the last to enter the large prefect's compartment and with a brief glance at Severus who had a hopeful look in his eye as he scooted over to make room for her on the bench, she chose the seat next to Remus. 

"Hey Lily," Remus said emphatically, "How was your summer?"

'Pretty good," she replied, "I made some progress with my sister." Their conversation was interrupted by the new head boy and girl; Bertram Aubery from Ravenclaw and Hestia Jones from Hufflepuff.

After the meeting, Bertram made a show of smiling broadly and shaking everyone’s hand and even kissed Lily’s when he got to her, making eye contact as he did it. Lily felt herself flush and looked down. 

“Ms. Evans,” he said, and hooked a finger under her chin to bring her face back up to his. “I’ll see you around, yeah?” 

Lily let out a giggle but before she could do more than nod her head eagerly, Remus, suddenly right behind her, coughed and broke the spell.

With a wink, Bertram turned away from her and brushed past Severus who was scowling in their direction on his way out of the compartment.

Lily and Remus walked back along the train together, Lily peering into every compartment for her friends. When they reached number 10, Remus paused in the doorway and turned back to her.

"They're in here." he said.

"What?" Lily said, following him in. She couldn't believe they'd taken Sirius's invitation seriously. But sure enough Mary and Marlene were lounging on the bench with a spread of delicious smelling food between them. Sirius sat next to Marlene and was talking quietly into her ear while James, Mary, and Peter were having a loud conversation by the window.

"The Chudley Cannons can do it again!" James was saying, his face turning red, as Mary and Peter shook their heads. 

"It's been four years," said Mary, sadly, "I think they've lost it."

James jumped to his feet but saw Lily and Remus at that moment and appeared to forget whatever he was going to say. He ran his hand through his hair, intentionally mussing it up as he looked brightly at Lily and said, "Alright, Evans?"

"yeah, and you?" asked Lily, tentatively. To her memory, "alright Evans" had never not been followed up by a pickup line and a request to go out with him. Lily looked around the compartment. Sirius and Marlene were huddled in the corner by the door. Was he twirling her hair in his fingers? Remus had chosen to sit down on the bench opposite Marlene and Peter was sitting between Sirius and Mary. Of course, that left the only open seat right in between James Potter and the window. Lily huffed quietly at this realization. She seriously considered for a moment leaving and finding new, better friends to sit with. But with a significant cough she stepped up to James Potter's legs, propped up on the bench between Remus and Mary. 

James jumped up to let Lily pass, startled at her choice to sit next to him. He reluctantly scooted over to give her more room when he felt her thigh press against his as she sat down. If it were up to him, he'd be perfectly happy sitting scrunched up next to her for the rest of the train ride, indeed, for as long as she would let him, but he didn't want to make her ask him to move. He was turning a new leaf. She was never going to be his friend if he kept annoying her. But at the moment, he didn't quite know how not to annoy her. 

Lily pulled a book from her bag as the quidditch conversation picked back up around her and James found himself feeling reluctant to join it. His mind searched so hard for something to say to her that wouldn't infuriate her that he hardly noticed when she put her book down and joined the conversation.

"The Chudley Cannons just need some fresh blood" Lily was saying when James finally tuned in. 

"wait -" he said, his eyes widening as he turned his whole body to look at Lily, "You're a Chudley Cannons fan?"

"Well of course," said Lily, flipping her long hair back over her shoulder.

Sirius looked around from his conversation with Marlene and let out a bark of laughter.

"Of course she is" he said, shaking his head, "dimwits, the lot of you. Why not try supporting a winning team for once, Prongs?"

"Like who?" Lily asked, her eyes narrowing.

"The Montrose Magpies" said Sirius, "who else."

Surprisingly, Sirius disentangled himself from Marlene and scooted over to join in the quidditch talk, sweeping the picnic food into James' lap as he did so. James leaned back and watched as his best mate and his dream girl entered into a heated discussion about the best quidditch teams. He felt a warm happiness seep over him as if snuggling up into a blanket. It could be like this all the time, a quiet voice said in his head. It sounded like Moony. If only you could stop running your dumb mouth and become her friend.

James got lost in his reverie, allowing himself to imagine a future train ride, just like this one except the Lily in his dream was sitting much closer to him and maybe wasn't just his friend...

He jumped and let out a small startled squeak when he felt movement to his left. He thought for a brief moment that he was still dreaming, but no, Lily really had scooted closer to him, and was reaching out for one of the sandwiches, still perched precariously in his lap.

She looked up at his sound and their eyes met. "Do you mind?" she asked, gesturing to the sandwich, her face turning a faint pink.

"no!" James yelped and practically threw the sandwich at her. Remus looked over at them from his perch in the corner talking with Marlene, and gave James a crooked grin. James was for sure going to hear about that later.

"Thanks" said Lily and she gave James a small smile, perhaps the first smile she'd ever aimed in his direction before and his breath caught in his chest.


	5. Potions Debacle

James managed to keep his promise to himself that he wouldn't ask Lily out over the first few weeks of lessons. To his surprise, he and Lily had all of the same classes together. Well, that was partially his doing. He'd overheard her talking to McGonagall about Herbology and had hastily marked out his request for Astronomy as his fifth class and applied for Herbology instead. 

It had taken Sirius a few days to recover from the transgression. They'd planned to take all of their classes together. But James thought it would be good for Sirius to take a class on his own for a change. 

Not only did James feel the weight of keeping on Lily's good side, but he was becoming more and more aware of the growing unrest outside Hogwarts' walls. So far, he'd been largely insulated from it. His parents were both retired and they lived a quiet life out in the west of England where not much happened. But he couldn't deny that his perspective had begun to change the day Sirius ran away from home. If he was honest with himself, he'd really begun to open his eyes at the end of last year when Sirius had almost gotten Snape killed and made Remus a murderer in the process. He couldn't help but wonder what life beyond Hogwarts would be like for Remus. Kind, compassionate Remus. Remus who would do anything for his friends, a fact that James knew he and Sirius took advantage of far too often. 

And the things Sirius told him about his own family... He knew Sirius's oldest cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband were openly Death Eaters, and were revered for it in Sirius's family. He was glad Sirius had been able to get out of there and eternally grateful to his parents for taking him in, even if it shattered the happy illusion in his home that all was right with the world. 

He found these thoughts straying to Lily as well. He'd been shocked at the name Snape called her by the lake last spring. Shocked because he was supposed to be her friend, but also because James had to admit, he'd felt protected within the grounds of Hogwarts. He didn't really believe that anything outside could touch them in here. That it wasn't really real for them.

But that was stupid, he knew. He'd been hearing about all the disappearances along with everyone else at school, and he heard about Mulciber assaulting Mary MacDonald last year. The Marauders had pranked the entire Slytherin house after that, as revenge. But their prank seemed feeble now. They'd charmed the Slytherins' pumpkin juice to spray into their faces every time they raised their glasses to drink. How did that fight back against all the real evil that was going on outside Hogwarts? Evil that was directed against Lily, and muggleborns like her. 

No, if James was being honest with himself, Operation Befriend Evans wasn't really about getting Lily to like him. That was just a lighthearted excuse he could tell the lads. No, James knew, deep in his heart, that it was time to grow up and stop turning a blind eye to the rising evil outside Hogwarts. Because who else was going to protect his friends; Sirius the blood traitor, Remus the werewolf, Lily the muggleborn, and even Peter, impressionable little Peter who needed strong people like James and Sirius to protect him. 

So James refrained from asking Lily out or any of the other stupid things he used to do and say that would infuriate her. He still fancied her, and the more he got to know her the stronger those feelings got, but even aside from his desires, he felt the need to protect her and he couldn't do that if she hated him. 

But you can't just decide to grow up and be done with it. James still very much felt like that gangly fourteen year old who walked into the great hall behind Severus Snape and Lily Evans on Saturday morning, jinxed Snape's pants to fall down around his ankles, and then had the nerve to bow low at her feet and croak (because puberty sucks) "Hey Evans, Go out with me, yeah?".

He'd learned that that wasn't exactly the way to Lily's heart but he still had no idea what to say to her instead. He'd never intentionally tried to make a friend before. People just liked him. And usually, his mouth didn't dry up and a swarm of bees take up residence in his head when he tried to talk to people. That was just the effect that Lily had on him.

So after a week of gawking noiselessly every time he came into Lily's presence, which was much more frequently this year now that Sirius and Marlene were playing the will they won't they game, James kicked himself into gear and forced himself to speak coherent sentences in her presence.

And what came out? Bloody stupid questions. James knew how dumb he sounded but he couldn't help it. Either he said the second thing that came to mind (because the first was usually along the lines of waxing poetically about her beauty) or gape like a fish. So he asked her what her favorite color was, if she had any siblings, what it was like growing up with muggles, do they really talk to each other through wires connected from house to house?

One day, they were partnered up in potions and it was particularly bad. James was peppering Lily with question after question as she tried, rather unsuccessfully to brew the antidote they were supposed to be creating. Sirius and Remus sat at the cauldron on one side of them and Snape was at the cauldron on the other.

"So Lily, what's your sister's name?" asked James, conversationally when he returned to the table with the ingredients Lily had asked him to retrieve from the store cupboard.

"Petunia" said Snape suddenly, from the cauldron next to theirs.

"Gesundheit" said James. Lily looked up sharply from the cauldron.

"No" sneered Snape, looking at James, "her sister's name is Petunia"

Lily ignored this exchange and went back to the potion. She'd finished distilling it into individual glass bottles. James noticed that Snape was at a similar point to her.

"So", he continued, as if nothing had happened. "Is she older or younger?"

Lily ignored him. Again, Snape interjected. 

"Older" he said, without looking up from his cauldron.

"Okay," said James, trying a new tactic. "What form does your patronus take?"

"A doe" said Snape again. James looked up at him sharply. The steam was rising around his face making him look even more sinister than usual. A doe? he thought. He shook his head to rid himself of any fantasies that may have been forming where that meant something.

He tried again, clearing his throat this time. 

"Lily" he said pointedly. "What's your favorite subject?"

Once again, Snape's voice rose from behind his cauldron. "Charms" he said, sneering at James again. He was clearly enjoying this. He seemed to think that his superior knowledge of Lily Evans gave him some kind of advantage. Lily herself was still pointedly ignoring them both although James was sure that her cheeks weren't just red from the steam.

"Lily," he said once more. Waiting this time in the hopes of catching her eye. But before he could go on, another voice cut in.

"Oi, Snape" said Sirius raucously, "What does Evans here wear to bed?"

Snape's mouth opened, and then closed, and then opened once more, before he glared at Sirius, shook his head and went back to his potion.

"Enough with the 20 questions Prongs" said Sirius pointedly. "Give Evans a hand with that antidote, why don't you?"

James, thoroughly rebuked, looked down at Lily and noticed for the first time, the frustration knit between her brows and mumbled "sorry. What can I do?"

Lily looked up for the first time and shot a smile at Sirius over James's shoulder before meeting his eye and saying "you can slice up those billyfly wings.”


	6. A Budding Friendship

The questions in potions were meant to bring James and Lily closer together but instead they did three other things that James would've liked to avoid: they made Lily annoyed with him, they highlighted Snape's old friendship with Lily, and strangely, they instigated a friendship between Lily and Sirius that was rather like the one James had been trying to start for himself. 

While he enjoyed Lily's more frequent presence and loved seeing her smile and hearing her laugh, he couldn't help but feel a jolt in his stomach every time her laughter was caused by Sirius and how she would put her hand on his arm to brace herself as she laughed at some stupid thing he'd said. 

True, he was slowly becoming friends with Lily as well but Lily was much more reserved around him. He often caught her looking at him with narrowed eyes, as if trying to anticipate the next wrong move he was going to make. He always felt like he was on thin ice. 

As much as it made him jealous to watch Sirius and Lily, he knew that the ease of their friendship came from the fact that neither of them were remotely interested in the other (or so he hoped). He knew that as long as he harbored feelings for Lily, their friendship could never be as easygoing and carefree. He was always going to have to be careful not to get too comfortable, to push the boundaries too far, because he wanted so much more than she did. Lily and Sirius didn't have that problem. They seemed to have no boundaries at all, because neither of them wanted anything more than what they had.

Or so Remus reassured him. Of the marauders, Remus had been friends with Lily the longest and was regarded as a bit of an expert. He assured James that the way Lily was acting around Sirius was not how she would act if she fancied him. James had to trust him. 

But pretty soon, James' trust in Remus was no longer needed. 

The marauders were having a late Saturday morning breakfast with Lily, Marlene, Mary, Alice, and Frank Longbottom the weekend before the first Hogsmeade trip. James was quite pleased with the seating arrangement that had him next to Lily, and their friends jostling around on either side of them, kept pushing them closer together until their shoulders were brushing against one another as they ate.

James heard a cough behind him and he and Lily both turned to see the head boy, Bertram Aubery standing there, looking at Lily.

"Oh, Hi Bertram" said Lily brightly. "Need something?"

"Actually yes," said Bertram, looking up and down the table at the nine faces that had all stopped their chatter to look up at him. "Erm, perhaps we could chat in the entrance hall?"

"Of course," said Lily, extricating herself from the tightly packed bench, pressing uncomfortably close to James as she did so. He caught a whiff of rosewater as she squeezed past him.

"And James," she said before she walked off with Bertram, "Don't eat my toast. I'll be right back."

"Wouldn't dream of it!" said James, trying to recover from their brief closeness.

"Wonder what's that about?" asked Remus, once they'd gone.

"Probably prefect stuff," said James automatically.

"Then why didn't he want to talk to me too?" asked Remus.

Alice looked over at them from down the table where she'd been idly watching Frank and Sirius dueling with their sausage links.

"Well, I doubt you're his type" said Alice with a glint in her eye.

"What?" asked Remus, a forkful of eggs paused halfway to his mouth.

"Isn't it obvious?" She asked, refilling her glass of juice. "He's asking her out."

"Why do you say that?" asked James sharply, with a glance at the entrance hall.

"Didn't you see the look on his face?" asked Alice.

"No" said Remus and James together. 

"Why wouldn't her just ask her here then?" asked James, his eyes glued to the entrance hall.

"Because," said Alice pointedly, "when people are serious about asking someone out, they do it privately"

James spluttered, but didn't get a chance to respond because Lily reappeared.

Her face was flushed as she climbed back onto the bench next to James. His heart dropped when he saw the excitement in her eyes.

"Well?" asked Alice, grinning at Lily once she'd gotten comfortable on the bench, the whole side of her body pressed against James. He could remember a time not too long ago that she never would've tolerated this. But he couldn't enjoy the sensation of her pressed up against him because he was too worried that the smile and the blush on her face meant Alice was right. "What did Aubery want?"

"A date" said Lily. "With me."

The chatter stopped again and all eyes turned to Lily. Alice, Mary, and Marlene all squealed as one and leaned forward to get closer to Lily.

Sirius and Remus both sought James' eye over the girls' heads but he couldn't tear his gaze away from Lily. 

"Did you say yes?" asked Marlene, breathlessly. 

"Of course," said Lily "I mean, it's the first time anyone has really asked me" 

All eyes turned to James and he felt his cheeks burn. Lily followed everyone's gaze and when she looked at James he wordlessly gestured to himself.

"Well" Lily corrected, her blush deepening, avoiding James' eye, "I mean, seriously asked me out. Not just for a laugh" 

James started to respond but she cut him off, "anyways", she said, still looking anywhere but at James, "he asked me to Hogsmeade with him next weekend!"

The girls all gushed with Lily, and James extricated himself from the bench, trying not to draw attention to himself.

When Lily finally allowed herself to look around at James she was surprised to find that he, along with the rest of the Marauders were gone.

Her stomach sank. She knew she'd hurt him. She'd seen it in his eyes. He didn't seem to fancy her anymore. She didn't blame him. She distinctly remembered telling him she wouldn't go out with him if it was a choice between him and the giant squid the last time he'd asked her. But she'd clearly hurt him by discounting his attempts at asking her out. But why, she wondered. He'd never been serious. He would've asked her privately like Bertram had if he'd really wanted her to say yes. No, she told herself, he just liked to be the center of attention, and goading Lily was a sure way to earn laughs. 

But still, she shouldn't have so callously disregarded him. She was sure she'd made him feel unimportant, and nobody liked that. She'd have to apologize.


End file.
